So here I am still writing this blog, it is well beyond week 52! Not sure if any one reads this or not. I bare my soul each week, sometimes I get it right, most times I am just searching for a answer. This week is no different.
Ever felt like the rules are always changing or the finish line is a moving? I do!
As those that read this blog knows, I am always looking to improve the entertainer that I am, in hopes that I become the entertainer I want to be. But the question that I don’t think I have asked is “who is that entertainer I want to be and what makes me think I am not already that person?”
I have a tendency to over think things. No, really. But I don’t think I am the only entertainer, Clown, Balloon Artist that does this. I take time after every event to go over what worked and what didn’t. Things that work is many, what did not work is few if any. I also ask myself what can I do better? This list is long, as I am way too hard on myself. I go over everything from my entire costume to each balloon made, the routines I did. I write down any comments I remember from the audience to what the clients had to say.
Some of you may say this is going beyond what is required to do a good job. You may be right. But it is not right for me.
At American Clown Academy we had our public performance taped and we watched it with our peers the next day. That was tough. It was a chance to review things and learn. It really was scary to do this. But I wish I could do this at every event, including Birthday parties.
I can hear some saying I am going overboard. Maybe I am, but I think to be the best me I can be, these things are required.
This week I learned something new. I have thought for many years about switching noses and going to one that is attached by string. It is hard to change, and to change something that has been with me from day 1 is not easy to do. First the style changed. And then there is the string! I kept thinking that the string would give things away that my clown nose is not real! Duh! Like kids did not already know my large red nose was fake. I think we go through all these things to make the fake, pretend……..real. I love how Iman Lizarazu embraces the fact that her clown nose is held on by string. She even uses that to her advantage in her performances.
It go me thinking about why am I scared of people seeing that my nose is held on by string. This week I did a event where I had performed many times and this time went with the new style nose held on by string. Guess what? No one said a thing about the nose. Be it when on stage or when Twisting balloons. Is it more about the performance? Does the nose matter?
I am minutes from performing at a birthday party where the crowd has seen me over many years. I am going to be wearing the nose with the string. We will see what their response is.
The verdict…NO ONE CARED ENOUGH TO SAY A THING!
They don’t see the nose. When I started out as a clown changing my jacket or my look mattered. People noticed and commented. Now it is more about the entertainment. Red nose or not, string or no string, wig or no wig…the key is they want good entertainment! And I am starting to believe that they get just that and more when they hire me!
That last sentence took a lot to say. But I am starting to believe it more and more all the time. “I am a very good entertainer!” And I want to get better still